I’d like to take a moment to talk about what a real dominant is- and yes this will primarily be aimed at males only because I myself am a male and have never really encountered a full out female dom in a sexual setting (too much clashing).
When a dom meets a person they are sexually interested in, you don’t just dive straight into trying to own this person. Too many times have I seen women go online to sites or apps such as Omegle or Chatous or even dating and hook up sites/apps like Plenty of Fish or Tinder, only be bombarded with self proclaimed “dominants” who will immediately go for a home run. No one is going to find it sexy that your response to “hey” is “suck my dick you filthy slut.” Literally no one. Unless there is an already established role of dom/sub.
Beating your partner, humiliating your partner, or forcing your partner are not sexy coming from strangers.
You are a dom once a sub has chosen you to be so. If you have not been given consent, you are a sexual harasser or a rapist. A real dom- a real man- does what makes their partner happy. He gets to know his partner. He figures out their kinks; their likes and dislikes, and their turn ons and turn offs.
A real dom is only controlling once he has been given the consent to be so. You are not a “good daddy” or a “good dom” if you feel the need to beat or belittle your partner outside of the bedroom (or car, kitchen, office, movie theatre, what have you). A real dom is a man who treats his partner like royalty. You buy her flowers for no reason, you shower her with affection and cuddle her to watch bad movies, you hold her when she cries. A real dom cares for his subs.
To all you asshole, self entitled, poor excuses for men out there: You are not a dom. You are a sexual deviant who can not control their urges. The worst part? Being a dom is exactly that. Control. Not only of your partner, but of yourself.
Treat your partners with respect and admiration and in return, they may just trust you enough to give you their leash.
Without trust and consent, we are just animals.
And always remember, “no” means “no.” That’s why we have safe words. You respect these safe words and your partners right to refuse certain sexual acts, or the act of sex altogether. “No” does not mean “convince me” or “force me” unless that kind of connection has already been established. Respect yourselves, and respect your partners.
Please feel free to message me with any questions or concerns pertaining to this post.